Sunday, June 27, 2010

Who I Really Am

That in whom reside all beings
and who resides in all beings,
who is the giver of grace to all,
the Supreme Soul of the universe,
the limitless being -
I am that.

-Amritbindu Upanishad

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Beginning.

So today I have an appointment with my therapist. I plan on talking about how sad I was on Sunday, only realizing yesterday that it was Father's Day. Oh, what a tangled weave of thread that is, my relationship with my father.

My father was gregarious, and handsome. Short of stature, at times thin, at times bloated from way too much drinking; still, attractive. I look nothing like him. My eyes are almond shaped, his round. When my parents adopted me they weren't looking for an asian child. They wanted a child who would fit in with the relatives, one they could take to family reunions where he or she would look like their nieces and nephews. They wanted to have a family story similar to everyone else. Well. I am not that. I am not anything like the child they imagined. Our story is not like everyone else's. Sometimes I wonder if I was a mistake, a choice they made that they regretted in the years that passed, especially during my adolescence.

I'm leaving now to see my therapist so I will stop here. I will need quite a bit of time to tell my story; I hope you stick around.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Having Planted A Seed, I Will Tend It

I need a place to have a long conversation with myself, a place to put together the events of the recent and distant past, to make sense of it today. And I need to share it with you.

So, hello. I am Lotus Ling. Let's start on the journey to find out who I am. It will be full of surprises realizations courage and truth.

Let's go.